True but thats because hes a fetus.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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