i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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