dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Did I show you my penis last night?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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