We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
