i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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