I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
