theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Fuck me I smell like cheese
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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