I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
40s are totally the cure
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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