he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Actions speak louder than pants.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
