wrigley field is MILF paradise
i would punch a child for taco bell
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
