dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Verdict: uncircumcised.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
