just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
