Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
