I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
