sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
