Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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