i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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