Do you still have your period?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
