So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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