Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm experimenting with sincerity
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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