Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
