her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
