I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
