doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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