Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
