Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize