worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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