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• (213): View more from California

  those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out

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• (585): View more from New York

  okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast

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• (209): View more from California

  Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"

  (630): View more from Illinois

  you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes

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• (831): View more from California

  well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went

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• (914): View more from New York

  I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses

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