You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize