Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
