She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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