Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
