i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
