I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
