If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
