i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I would fuck him just for his dog
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
