piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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