Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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