I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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