I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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