That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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