Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
