So drunk its hurt
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
