I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
