Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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