In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
