Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
