he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
