I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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