If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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