you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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