No awkward lesbian experiences without me
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
