So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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