Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize