I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
