I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
