so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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