After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
