Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
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