dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I didn't notice because vodka
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
