been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
